I have to laugh at myself at least once every day. My young life pretty much consists, right now, of...
Learning how to park a car
Putting the keys in the SAME PLACE every time so I don't LOSE them
Struggling to get the words in my head out of my mouth in a sensible fashion.
Remembering to put my name on quizzes... so I don't get marked off!!
Saying all the wrong things.
Walking in Cement Boots.
And, frankly, just being a kid. The toughest thing for me to do right now, and I'm not even sure why this is, is simply to relax and enjoy all of this foolishness the way I should.
I wish I could enjoy my life now, but I think too hard and too much about it. I'm too worried I'll lose something...what? What do I have to lose?
Everything it seems.... everything and nothing. I was wondering about what it means to have something. I was thinking about all the things I have and realizing that I don't really have much.
All the things I thought I had I don't really have at all. What I thought I lost I never even had to begin with.
That pretty much sums up friendship. If I understand friendship, I know that it is spontaneous. You cannot ask for it, even if you want it more than anything else in the world. You cannot control it. And, when it is ready to leave, you cannot keep it from going.
There is only one thing that you can do. You can take what you've been given for a short while, love that, and let it go when the time is right.
Only then can you really relax and enjoy what you have. I'm afraid I've been so worried that I'm going to lose what I have that I haven't spent any time enjoying it.
That's a shame, really.