Monday, October 31, 2011

Love is Waiting.

Beautiful Jess showed me this song first. This is for her tonight. I'm thinking of you, Jess! You are the inspiration for this blog and a comfort to me during this time. We don't get to talk much anymore, but I've never missed one of your blog posts.

I was reading through your old blog posts, looking for help. I came across this.... it means so much to me<3

I'm going to write a post about love in a little bit... stay tuned.

Love you, Jess<3

Friday, October 21, 2011


I was doing the dishes and thinking, what is time? Is there really such thing as time? Or, better, is time finite or infinite?

I decided that time was infinite. After all, if I can divide real numbers infinitely and time is a very real, measured thing then why can't it be infinite too? But, I believe that before I go on I must define time itself.

I see time as a human invention used to describe how mass changes. We measure how mass changes over time. We also understand mass very well by how it relates to time. However, it mass limited to time? These three questions came out.

Can I describe mass without using time?
Can I understand mass without using time?
Can I change mass without using time?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Dear Jesus...

Dear Jesus,

Of all the things I could be in love with right now, I'm in love with you.

All the boys, all the noise. I could be saving the earth. I could be leaping tall building, rocking every weekend. Seriously, think of all the time I could save for my favorite recreations if I just cut you out of me weekend altogether.

A man stopped me at school today. "Hey, girl! Have you heard about Green Peace?" Full of passion and so much energy, he told me how he was going to save the world.

I wished for one thing in that moment... I wished I could have told him how YOU saved your people 2,000 years ago.

But, I didn't.

I just smiled and walked away. What would I say, if I did say anything? How would I even start the conversation?

"Hi, I don't even know who you are. All I know is that you're from Green Peace and you want to save the world. Let me introduce you to the love of my life. He saved ME so I don't have to save the world. This world is not all there is to life. This world isn't the end. It's going to pass away one day and all there will be left is God. That's all I have in the life. What do you have?"

Do you know how hard it is to get that out of my mouth? It's a little bold, I gant that. It's probably better that I don't say everything that I'm thinking.

I want YOU to know what I'm thinking, though. I want you to know that I think your love is better than life. I want you to know that of all the things I could love right now...

I love you.


Happy Birthday to Me!

18 random lesson from 2011:

1. There's a first for everything... like this blog.

2. You know how some people just wait for accident to happen? Well, accidents are just waiting for ME to happen.

3. Two wrongs don't make a right, but chocolate covers a multitude of sins.

4. According to the Ultimate Authority at Denver Motor Vehicle, one must STOP for three mississippi's at a stop sign before continuing.

5. It actually takes the minute hand longer to travel up the top of the hour then to fall down to the bottom. We scientifically tested this, people... in Trigonometry.

6. There is a direct relationship between the amount of peanut butter empty from my jug and the volume of sushine in my heart.

7. When given the choice between two ladies, a gentlman always chooses the one with a stick of gum.

8. The inverse of sine is NOT 1/sin. It just isn't people, not matter how hard you want it to be. The inverse of sine can only be sin^(-1).

9. I havn't changed one einsy meinsy bit.

10. Dr Pepper 10- not for women.

11. USFA has now descided that the bib is target area for a foil fencer. WHAT EVER!!!!

12. It takes two to giggle about absolutely nothing

13. Life goes by really fast. Blink and it's

14. Droids are the bomb... so is Skype:)

15. Don't worry, be happy.

16. Love what you've got. There's a reason why you have it.

17. I forgot this one.

18. When you lost everything there is to lose; when you're friends disown you and the only hook left to hang your hat on is trouble, it's nice to know that Wendy's still serves all natural beef patties.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

... that you "like-like" each other?

I love Battle of the Smithsonian so much..... I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!! Minus Amelia Earhart, I love it waaay more than the first one.

I still laugh even though I've seen it a hundred times. The best part for me so far is when Napoleon sidles up to Larry after Larry denies any romantic attachment to Amelia and says,

"Wereyouguyslikefriendsincollegeandnowbothafaridtoruintherelationshipbytellingtheotherpersonthatyouwanttobemorethanfriends- that you "like-like" each other?"
Not catching all of that, Larry says,
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
"Were you guys friends in college and now both afraid to ruin the relationships by telling the other person that you want to be more than friends... that you "like-like" each other?"
You have no idea how hard I laughed after that scene..... once I finally figured out what he said. I had to watch is several times over.

Cough Syrup

Got this stuck in my head!

Monday, October 10, 2011


Cold Fist in Mine
One Last Kiss
Farewell Old Man

We wished our grandfather farewell this weekend. He passed away Sunday. This picture was taken on one of our many trips together through the southwest. We were in Mount Zion National Park. That was the happiest moment we ever shared together.

Farewell, Old Man.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

First Snow...

It's soppy outside. It's floppy outside. It's wet and snowy and melty outside.

There was snow this morning, but it hasn't even stuck around long enough to enjoy. You probably missed it if you got up later than 7o'clock. I was up long before that and if it wasn't so freezin' cold out there, I'd be out in it for a glorious winter's walk.

Instead, the first snow completely disappointed me. It was similar to this:

Only, worse. It was looking forward eagerly to REAL WINTER. No... just this.

Oh, I'm seeing the sun trying to come out of the gray! Maybe I'll see the sun today after all:)

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Sing To Me

The lovely Andre reminded me of this poem I should share with you all! I had totally forgotten about it....

Sing to me. Once again
I love to hear your voice
Rise gently through
The ceiling rafts
The richest evening noise.

I’ll love you for a moment
The next I’ll turn aside
To fancy this
Or wish on that
And leave my faithful guide.

But you won’t ever change
Your heart I’ve memorized
You wedded me
Befriended me
Unwanted and despised

Now I have come to trust you
I’ve given you my heart
Yet something dark
A secret thought
Is driving us apart.

If you are always faithful
And I am always wanting
Then how can we
So distant seem
Like two paths never crossing?

When I accepted you
I took your humble vow
But greater is
This struggle, for
I must accept me now.

With all of my shortcomings
And failure at perfection
I’ve loathed myself,
Unworthy of
Your unreserved attention.

I love the things that you love
And you have loved me true
So now must I
Kiss pride goodbye
And learn to love me too.

Sing to me, once again
Teach me to love myself
Make me look
Inside my soul
And value all its wealth.

The night grows deep around us
Your voice still rich and deep
You catch my head
Before it falls
And tuck me in to sleep.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Where You Treasure Is...

It came up in Sunday School:

"How do we respond when we look around in life and see the world is so successful while we, as Christians, are struggling so hard?" 

Psalm 73:2-11
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled
my steps had nearly slipped.
For I was envious of the arrogant 
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
For they have no pangs until death; 
t h e i r  b o d i e s  a r e  f a t  a n d  s l e e k.
They are not in trouble as others are; 
they are not stricken like the rest of mankind.
Therefore pride is their necklace; 
violence covers them as a garment.
Their eyes swell out through fatness; 
their hearts overflow with follies.
They scoff and speak with malice; 
loftily they threaten oppression.
They set their mouths against the heavens, 
and their tongue struts through the earth.
Therefore his people turn back to them, 
and find no fault in them.
And they say, "How can God know? 
Is there knowledge in the Most High?"

Allen gave us a great answer: "Everything they have can be taken away."
Thank you, Allen. I thought that was an excellent answer.

That's the truth about life. The big question is, where is your treasure? Where your treasure is there will your heart be also. 

I seems that everything I have has been or is being taken away in my life right now. This year, I've lost everything it seems like. 

Two siblings fly the coupe. I've had no one to talk to it seems like... so one to look up to.
Close family member go through divorces and break-ups.
Friends move on.
My church goes through major reorganization.
Good friends flee the patriarchal movement. 
M y  l i f e  i s  c h a n g i n g  e v e r y  d a y.... so fast I can't keep up with it.
Everyone I love and everything I dreamed of is being squashed like a grape on the cement. 

My world, as I know it, is being turned upside down!!!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

No. 1

My quick report
Your gentle rebuke
Three wise men

You may have noticed this haiku in the comments section. I hope it puzzled and perplexed you. It's a riddle.

The question is, who's the third man? It begins with only two people. Myself and the one who comments on my blog post. Your comments test my work, checking for holes and weak spots. Through this process of commenting and refining my writing, I come up with an argument or statement that is founded on truth and tested for accuracy.

I think that a pretty good definition of wisdom. Founded on truth and tested for accuracy. So, where's the third wise man? The third wise man is whoever comes along later and reads that piece of wisdom, adopting it for himself.

Three wise men- the one who writes, the one of critiques, and the one who reads it later on.

Haiku Love

Oh, I've been wanting to write this one since I started my blog.

I love haiku. I. Love. It. 

The humorous, delicate, multi-layered Japanese art form tickles my literary fancy like nothing else ever has.

If you're like most average Americans, you probably find it awkward and unbalanced. That's the way I felt about it before I read the following article:

My eyes were opened. I suddenly entered a whole new world of riddles and unlikely comparisons.

Haiku is a literary form. You need to get that in your head. If you are turned off by them, it's most likely because you aren't recognizing their format, which is everything to a haiku. A haiku is rather very strict. Yes, there is room for artistic interpretation, but for the most part they follow very specific patterns.

It's all about patterns. If you've never studied haiku patterns before it will be difficult for you to pick up on the context.

It's true- one can, and often does, spend four paragraphs discussion and interpreting something like:

      Long hard rain
      Hanging in the willows
      Tender new leaves.


Isn't that beautiful? That's a wonderful technique called contrast. That is easy stuff. It's gets harder with other forms like double entendre and leap linkage. But I won't go into those things yet.

What I would like to do is have more conversations about haiku using the above article as a reference, taking each technique one at a time and discussing them in detail. I'll try my hand out at haiku's of my own.

For now, I'll leave you with my all-time, favorite haiku:

      Moving into the sun
      The pony takes with him
      Some of the mountain


Beautiful, beautiful image.

I Lost the Moon

I'm taking this astronomy class.... incredible mind-blowing class. The only science class worth taking at Arapahoe Community College. Bar none. Real science happens in that class.

I wish I could boast of being a real scientist myself. After all, I'm taking this super brainy class. I've got these really high tech binoculars and I downloaded the latest moon app on my Mom's smart phone. So, now I can keep up to date with the movements of the moon.

This is all so cool. I pull out Mom's phone and check the stats. Moonrise, 1:45. It must mean 1:45 a.m. I assume. I'm a seasoned astronomer, so staying awake all night to gaze into the heavens is no big deal. I can handle this.

I set my alarm for 0200 hours, just to give the moon a chance to catch up to me and fall fast asleep. The alarm jolts me awake on time. I'm feeling so smart. I mean sooo on top of things. I don't even worry about my shoes. I just grab the binocs and head out side for some hard core moon observations.

The crisp morning is perfect- cool, quiet, rested. Billions of stars light up the sky. I'm standing out back, head craned to the sky. The scene is memorizing, but not what I expected. I can't find it- I can't find the moon. Blast. It's gotta be somewhere! I run out front.


Around the west and east sides of the house. Still nothing. No moon.

I was crushed. How could it fail me????

So, you real astronomers out there. You can start laughing right now. This happened last night and the night before last night.

I've been waking up at two in the morning for the last three days looking for the moon!!!

I've learned two very important lessons:

1. Don't trust a phone app. That stupid phone app made such a fool out of me. Turns out the GPS isn't actually turned on so who knows what location it's set on!

2. Astronomy 101: The moon is currently in its six day crescent. It rises sometime in the early morning- mid day and sets in the late evening. It won't rise again until the following morning. You can't see the moon when your side of the earth is pointed away from it, thus a moonrise and moonset.