Who Outsmarted Who?

Hahahaha! Watching "The Rescuers Down Under" again.... that movie never gets old. Neither does this scene:D 

"My mental facilities are twice what yours are, ya pea brain!"

"I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothin'!"

Happy Birthday to Me!

18 random lesson from 2011:

1. There's a first for everything... like this blog.

2. You know how some people just wait for accident to happen? Well, accidents are just waiting for ME to happen.

3. Two wrongs don't make a right, but chocolate covers a multitude of sins.

4. According to the Ultimate Authority at Denver Motor Vehicle, one must STOP for three mississippi's at a stop sign before continuing.

5. It actually takes the minute hand longer to travel up the top of the hour then to fall down to the bottom. We scientifically tested this, people... in Trigonometry.

6. There is a direct relationship between the amount of peanut butter empty from my jug and the volume of sushine in my heart.

7. When given the choice between two ladies, a gentlman always chooses the one with a stick of gum.

8. The inverse of sine is NOT 1/sin. It just isn't people, not matter how hard you want it to be. The inverse of sine can only be sin^(-1).

9. I havn't changed one einsy meinsy bit.

10. Dr Pepper 10- not for women.

11. USFA has now descided that the bib is target area for a foil fencer. WHAT EVER!!!!

12. It takes two to giggle about absolutely nothing

13. Life goes by really fast. Blink and it's

gone.

14. Droids are the bomb... so is Skype:)

15. Don't worry, be happy.

16. Love what you've got. There's a reason why you have it.

17. I forgot this one.

18. When you lost everything there is to lose; when you're friends disown you and the only hook left to hang your hat on is trouble, it's nice to know that Wendy's still serves all natural beef patties.



... that you "like-like" each other?

I love Battle of the Smithsonian so much..... I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!! Minus Amelia Earhart, I love it waaay more than the first one.

I still laugh even though I've seen it a hundred times. The best part for me so far is when Napoleon sidles up to Larry after Larry denies any romantic attachment to Amelia and says,

"Wereyouguyslikefriendsincollegeandnowbothafaridtoruintherelationshipbytellingtheotherpersonthatyouwanttobemorethanfriends- that you "like-like" each other?"

Not catching all of that, Larry says,

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

"Were you guys friends in college and now both afraid to ruin the relationships by telling the other person that you want to be more than friends... that you "like-like" each other?"

You have no idea how hard I laughed after that scene..... once I finally figured out what he said. I had to watch is several times over.

I Lost the Moon

I'm taking this astronomy class.... incredible mind-blowing class. The only science class worth taking at Arapahoe Community College. Bar none. Real science happens in that class.

I wish I could boast of being a real scientist myself. After all, I'm taking this super brainy class. I've got these really high tech binoculars and I downloaded the latest moon app on my Mom's smart phone. So, now I can keep up to date with the movements of the moon.

This is all so cool. I pull out Mom's phone and check the stats. Moonrise, 1:45. It must mean 1:45 a.m. I assume. I'm a seasoned astronomer, so staying awake all night to gaze into the heavens is no big deal. I can handle this.

I set my alarm for 0200 hours, just to give the moon a chance to catch up to me and fall fast asleep. The alarm jolts me awake on time. I'm feeling so smart. I mean sooo on top of things. I don't even worry about my shoes. I just grab the binocs and head out side for some hard core moon observations.

The crisp morning is perfect- cool, quiet, rested. Billions of stars light up the sky. I'm standing out back, head craned to the sky. The scene is memorizing, but not what I expected. I can't find it- I can't find the moon. Blast. It's gotta be somewhere! I run out front.

Nothing.

Around the west and east sides of the house. Still nothing. No moon.

I was crushed. How could it fail me????

So, you real astronomers out there. You can start laughing right now. This happened last night and the night before last night.

I've been waking up at two in the morning for the last three days looking for the moon!!!


I've learned two very important lessons:

1. Don't trust a phone app. That stupid phone app made such a fool out of me. Turns out the GPS isn't actually turned on so who knows what location it's set on!


2. Astronomy 101: The moon is currently in its six day crescent. It rises sometime in the early morning- mid day and sets in the late evening. It won't rise again until the following morning. You can't see the moon when your side of the earth is pointed away from it, thus a moonrise and moonset.

I Spy

That last post was sooooo bland. Yuck. I can be so boring sometimes I surprise myself. I don't know if it's possible to write a worse post than that.

Aside from that, though, I just wanted to say- yesterday was Pookie's 2nd birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOKIE! (It was also my dear Queeny's birthday- happy birthday sister!) I know it's little late. I wish all the best for both of you.

Pookie and I had our own special little ceremony today. David left for school in the morning and we had the whole house to ourselves. It was delicious. We finished up breakfast slowly and afterward I brought out two, stiff presents. Pookie was delighted. This was everything that brilliant two year old has ever or will ever want in life. A quite morning with one or two pleasant surprises.

I watched him painfully tear through the wrapping paper to reveal none other then- I Spy, Spectacular! The joy that filled his eyes as he opened his very first I Spy book and caught his very first glimpse into wonderful world of Walter Wick gave me so many mixed feelings.

That was me, sixteen years ago. I adored I Spy. I lived inside that world. I traced every line of every book until I had memorized it all. When I went to sleep at night, I became a little person and traveled through the horror, mystery, wonder, and excitement of it all. I just couldn't get enough of I Spy.

I sort of forgot my old fascination with it until I woke up this past Monday and realized- "It's Pookie's birthday!" I instantly knew that I was going to get him books. This kid can practically read. He reads all his favorite books TO ME! I just can't keep up with him. So, I'm wandering around B&N and there, sitting on the shelf are dozens of I Spy thrillers.

Suddenly, I wasn't 18 anymore. Suddenly, I was two again, thumbing through those beloved classics. I went, unconsciously  straight to my favorite spots. The warf in Treasure Hunt. The sand castle in Fantasy. The shop window in A book of Picture Riddles.

Something struck deep in my heart. Something I've never been able to define. When we are very small children, we have nothing to lose. Then, we grow up and the world revolves around our petty wishes. It's only when we're old enough and once again have nothing to lose that we can go back to our old loves once again.

I miss my childhood- my deep childhood- more than I can say. Way deep down inside were no one can see, I still love the things I used to love. I have guarded that love and cherished it, even though it is so rarely expressed in my life.

I long more than I can express for the day when I can enjoy once again the secret world of I Spy.

(P.S. That other present wasn't half as exciting... just a plain, old Richard Scarry ABCs)

What's so funny???

I really should be going to bed, but I just had to share this with you.

I love kids. I love MY kids- the two beautiful boys God brought into my life to nanny twice a week. For a kid like me, the chance to watch other kids and get payed for it is the job of my dreams! What makes it such a wonderful job are the stupid, side-splitting things that happened like the one I'm about to tell you.

We're all in the basement together. The boys want to buys some ice cream. So, I get in my pretend ice-cream truck right between the furnace and the water heater and I start handing our strawberry cones. They both have double deckers, so I sure that will keep them content for a while. The moment I step out from behind that truck, David suddenly realizes he's finished with his cone.

"Can I have another!" he demands. I throw my hands up in the air in exasperation and turn to get back in my truck. A shriek of laughter explodes. It was a hit! I exaggerate my scoops and hand both boys another pair of cones. No sooner do I step out of the truck again, then- "Can I have another!" Once again, hand fly up to the ceiling in disgust and the earsplitting laughter echos across the basement.

Scooping ice-cream and running back for more. Disbelieving hand gestures and irritated grunts. Laughter that gives you belly aches. Now I can't stop laughing because of how hard they're laughing and my laughing at them.

"I want some meatball ice-cream!" David gasps as I'm frantically scooping out two cones.

"Meatball ice-cream!!!" I roar. "That's it! I can't take it anymore! NO MEATBALL ICE-CREAM!"

Silence. Not because the joke is over but because nobody can breathe.

I just want to know one thing- what makes something funny? Why do we laugh at things? No one can predict a joke- they just happen. You may tell a joke to someone that makes that person drop dead laughing, but totally turns the next person off.

Why is it that in a house full of awesome toys the one things these boys want to play with is an imaginary ice-cream truck?